I still remember the first day we got you. I've always wanted a pet dog,always. Pouted at and pleaded my father with every chance I got and with much luck,his friend's pet dog gave birth to a bunch and gave us you. I remember meeting you at the side of a hawker centre,there you were,sitting innocently and shaking on the table. White,tiny and fluffy. I swore you were the cutest thing ever. My sister even joked that you were so nervous because of the shirt I was wearing (Pikachu printed shirt). We brought you home.
I still remember.You were a ball of energy. You chased me around the house and I tripped and fell. Boy,you were fast! Always on your feet to chase or bark at something - which in the following years,drove us insane - Then we began to learn your behaviour,one by one. The way you tried to steal a piece of cloth from me even though I stuffed it all the way down my shirt,how oblivious you were to your surroundings,how you only had your full attention to food and how you were afraid..........................of a neighborhood cat. You also quickly marked (not literally) your place in the house and had your very own favorite chair. (In fact,you had TWO. One of which you used to sit to be on the same level with us just to watch us eat.) You would also chase us from room to room when we prompted you and we would hide and you would find us,you always did. All of these and more,I still remember.
You grew up with me. Throughout my days in primary school where I got teased every day,I came home to you and you loved me the same. When I went out with my friends and neglected bringing you for a walk,I came home to you and you loved me the same. When I was going through a depression phase because of my low self-esteem,you came up to me and loved me the same. When I cried because I felt lonely,you came up to me,licked away my tears and loved me the same. When I forget to feed you on time,you still loved me the same. Even sometimes when I got upset at you and hated you,you still loved me the same.
*Note:This is a picture of her sleeping* The day I had to hear that you died was the day a part of me was lost but I saw it coming. Pets never outlive their owners and I accepted the fact but my heart crumbled -as it is again,as I write this story,reminding me of you- when it actually happened. It was in the wee hours of morning and I insisted you sleep with me because you were having a hard time breathing. You watched me sleep -stared actually- and that,woke me up. I shifted my arm and you dropped right in for a cuddle. This. This scene still haunts me every time I think of you. You started panting and we rushed you to the hospital. The ride there was one I never forgot. You got hospitalised and we never got to bring you home.
I think that hard part about losing something is not because it's not there anymore but it is to look at the same places,searching for it,only to find it missing. I can no longer look at her favorite chair and find her napping on it. There will be no ball of white fur curled up on my blanket anymore,nothing for me to cuddle with. No scratch marks on my thighs from you begging for food that you cannot have. No.....no one that will love me as much as you do. I may sound very melodramatic about this but I spent half of my life with her.....I miss you baby. Rest in peace.
